Friday, May 27, 2011

Cheryl Cole back in Britain

Cheryl sinks her US career with the worst look of the year

Poor Cheryl (who used to live a few streets away from Agent Triple P) has been unceremoniously kicked out of the new American X-Factor before it has even begun.  Well, not according to "sources close to the singer" who claim that she was just homesick for the rolling hills of Surrey (probably not for her council estate in Noocassle).  I suppose "homesick" is equivalent to saying that you are leaving a job to "pursue other interests".  A lot of publicists and agents are no doubt slaving away at present for a mutually acceptable form of words (which probably means that we will never know if the real reason for her departure was really the fact that Americans wouldn't be able to understand her Geordie accent (whcih actually isn't that thick).

X Factor in the UK wants her back, of course, but there are rumours that she is not happy with Simon Cowell.  Hmm, Simon Cowell takes someone on and then drops them like a hot potato when their popularity dips a little bit.  It all sounds very familiar, especially to most of the previous X Factor winners.

The recently published  Lonely Planet guide to the UK said that we were obsessed with celebrity news.  Surely not?

Reaction in the UK has shown an upsurge of support for America as a result, with the comments sections of internet news services full of people praising the Americans for their sound judgement.  Not since President Bush called the French "cheese eating surrender monkeys" has the US been so popular over here.

Will she be welcomed back to Britain or has showing her true little miss diva side and trying to abandon this green and pleasant land meant that the the position of the nation's sweetheart is now vacant? 

Maybe she could get a job as a lavatory assistant in a Guildford nightclub?

Agent Triple P's advice to Cheryl would be to reconsider Playboy's offer!

Labels: ,