Staying in Britain?
As Britain's new Queen of Hearts, Cheryl Cole, whilst hoping her 2011 calendar will be in everyone's Christmas stocking, must be worrying about her attempt to break America next year. Everything hangs on her performance as an X-Factor judge in the new US TV series that Cowell the Merciless is planning. Cheryl, however, admitted earlier this week that, despite press coverage to the contrary, she has not signed a £3 million contract. In fact she hasn't signed anything at all.
Comments from across the pond aren't too encouraging. A test, made by a US network, of her in front of an audience had one person saying she was about as comprehensible as the Swedish chef from The Muppet Show.
Haadyergob ye patterskite!
She is so desperate to become the new Victoria Beckham (what ambition) that she has been contemplating elocution lessons. However, an insider on the US show has said that she would be unlikely to get the job as no-one has heard of her and that the US producers see her as a big risk. They would much rather have ex-Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, who deputised for her on the UK X-Factor when Cheryl was off with malaria.
Americans prefer Nicole Prescovia Elikolani Valiente Scherzinger
Could the issue of her "P" visa, to allow her to work as an entertainer in the country, be the real issue. Her 2003 conviction for assault occasioning actual bodily harm, when she attacked toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa in the Drinks nightclub in Guildford, will count heavily against her.
Cheryl in 2003. Rather less polished
Cowell has had a team of Miami lawyers working on this issue for over a year. Could it be that they have advised that the issue is insoluable and that the Cowell machine, which doesn't want all this sink estate nastiness to sully her new glossy image, is preparing a more acceptable excuse for her non-particpation in the show; such as incomprehensibility or lack of fame?
Agent Triple P will follow developments with interest!