Ronnie Wood arrested


Ronnie with a young dog

Trials and tribulations continue for those who live near Agent Triple P. Firstly, annoying Scots tennis player, Andy Murray's girlfriend has walked out on him and today Ronnie Wood (63), of the Rolling Stones was arrested in Claygate (where the ugly people live) High Street (not very rock and roll, that) accused of assaulting his girlfriend 20 year old Ekaterina Ivanova.

Triple P literally ran into the couple in Waitrose supermarket in Esher a month or so ago. He was a tiny wizened chap who looked like Rumplestiltskin. She was wearing an awful blue nylon dress which looked like a cleaning ladies overall. Couldn't see what he saw in her, other than the usual that a man sees in a girl less than a third his age.

Ekaterina: the master plan not going quite so well now, obviously

Poor Ekaterina was hoping to marry Ronnie and, no doubt, be entitled to a good share of his millions. Looks like she'll have to go back to waitressing in a lap-dancing club.