Cows

Cows: nasty, brutish and big

Agent Triple P was interested in the story in the papers yesterday about the woman who was trampled by cows. She basically survived as the ground was so muddy she was pushed down into it and that absorbed the impact. When we looked into this we saw that people being trampled to death by cows it not that uncommon in Britain, shockingly. There was a suggestion that fields of cows should have warning signs on them

Quite right! Cows are big, nasty, sinister animals and we can never understand people who gaily walk through fields of these terror-beasts with equanimity. When Triple P was small he was chased by one of these monsters and has been sensibly wary of them ever since. They are the hippopatami of Britain. They look innocent enough with their reassuring Ben and Jerry's arcadian black and whiteness but they are nasty things on the whole.

Agent Triple P will continue to eat as many of them as possible. Al Sangue, for me please.